Monday, 14 January 2013

Day 201 - Fear - the coiled spring





I was thinking today how fear is the underlying cause for all of my characters, reactions and how I essentially have dealt with life.  Things in this world are becoming much more uncertain and I am seeing that the level of fear is escalating as so many act out in fear and that good ole human condition that we believe to be inherent and that is survival of the fittest.  I have noticed in myself even within fear we are on a edge of the seat type mentality waiting for the ball to drop.  I spoke to two people today who have lost their jobs and another lady that hasn't been paid by her company for work that she has done. For a moment I went into a kind of be grateful for what you have kind of humbleness within me and the whole time I was thinking glad it isn't me!

Fear causes us to isolate ourselves from each other. Fear makes us act out in anger, it makes us do things that we wouldn't normally do.  I smiled at someone today as I walked past them and anyone would think I had a bomb in my hand as they looked frightened to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear. I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that underneath my interactions with others is fear of not being liked or accepted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for myself and losing my income. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I won't have a decent pension when I retire.  Thus I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that by the time I retire we should have an EMS in place, so within fretting isn't going to bring it forward any quicker and I see/realise and understand that it is me as the mind that is directing this train of thought that is keeping me in fear of survival mode. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the future looking at a bright outcome instead of being here in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will become of us if we don't all start living in harmony with each other. Thus again I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the mind in fear of survival and I forgive myself that I haven't seen realised and understood that I am in energy of the mind as stress and worry and that this inherently is how we have all been living, like coiled springs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an 'I'm alright Jack attitude, wherein in a moment I am glad that I not in anothers shoes.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the opposite of fear which is joy and relief that I am ok for the moment.  I forgive myself that I have have accepted and allowed myself to swing from the polarities of fear to joy and back again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself still participate in fear and anxiety about the future and project myself in my mind and then tell myself that we are doomed it is no use.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for the children/animals of this world. I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that fearing and worrying about something has never changed it one jot.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that by projecting myself into the future in fear I am likely to manifest it as my reality, wherein, if my starting point is based in fear I will create it and just walk in to it as my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become worried and anxious and then experience this as a low level despondency and when I am walking around and interacting with others experience myself as fed up and sad that so many still don't get it. Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as separate to me in that I have seen myself as having knowledge and information that I am acting on so within my mind I see myself as superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as superior to others in my mind and go into back chat about how it is hopeless as they don't get it, when I am assuming as I don't know for sure what their lives are like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach fear to the future of this world. Thus I forgive myself that I fear my own fear.

I  forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach fear to survival in this world.  Thus I forgive myself that I fear my own fear.


When and as I see myself as fearful for the future and I have gone into the mind in a picture presentation of how it might be based on what is happening now.  I stop and I breathe and I bring myself here within and as the breath and I commit myself to keep slowing myself down within and as the breath and I walk until I am stable and clear within and as myself and I have let all fearful thoughts go.

When and as I see myself separating myself from others as judgemental back chat.  I stop and I breathe and I bring myself here within and as the breath and I slow myself down and I remind myself that I am in the mind making assumptions based on my own experiences and only by standing in their shoes will I ever know what life is like for them

I commit myself to stop existing within and as fear.

I commit myself to stand as a living example of what life can be like with no fear in this world.