Saturday, 5 January 2013

Day 192 - F.E.A.R - Finding Everything and Realising




You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R.

Final eternity arouses reactions
Freeing excellence affects reality
Fallen empires are ruling
Find earth and reap

Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Final execution and resurrection
Free expression as revolution
Finding everything and realizing

You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)

(Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Finding everything and realizing
For everything a reason)

F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear"

Lyrics by Ian Brown.


When I woke up this morning I had the words 'Old habits die hard' pop into my mind and the Rolling Stones song.   I got to thinking about an old habit of mine and all human beings and that is FEAR and underneath every single decision that we make fear is and has been the starting point.  The above tune rang through my mind so I have cited the lyrics here as I think they are rather interesting.


I had a cool but busy day with clients in the shop yesterday and what stood out  from the people I saw is the level of fear that still exists. 

Fear of not being liked
Fear of starting a new job and not doing it well
Fear of dying
Fear of not having enough money (that's a biggie)
Fear of losing control
Fear of being alone.

Now I can relate all the above fears and more to me in one way or another. But what I realised today that even though I have been walking my process with support for not quite a year yet I am still 'battling' with my fears and then the fear that I won't be able to assist these people popped in because in a half an hour session with me it really isn't enough time to cover everything and then I feared that when the walked out the door they would forget the self forgiveness and advice that I had given them as I stood in their shoes and looked at the patterns of behaviour, I realised that it is always fear and when you repeat something over and over its programmed and it then becomes a habit and I realised that ...Old habits do certainly die hard. Now this may sound obvious to most but today it really hit me like a sack of spuds...lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to be my starting point in life and within that I have used fear as motivation, as an energetic charge that I have created a belief in and around that it is assisting me in keeping me alive and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear that the situation and brain washing in this world is so extensive that we will never do it and make it as real equal and one life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just being here within and as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to myself in back chat and then feed the fears that I have programmed in and are so eagerly waiting entwined in my beingness  and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear my own fear of myself and letting go for once and for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go off in my mind and look for things to trip me up  and occupy me and within that create a fear around it, so for example I may not have thought about something for a few moments, just sat here, breathing and then a thought will pop in, did I turn the cooker off at home? Is the cat ok? and there we go.  I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such moments tense up in my physical and then go off on a roll in my mind about possible senorios as the imagination like the house burning down etc...I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that what I imagine will happen actually will in reality as a manifestation because I am thinking about it. I forgive myself that within all of this I am fearing my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fearful and distracted by my own mind, because I have created a belief within and as me that fear is what keeps me alive and the energetic charge I create as entertainment for myself is  in that moment is what I am used to.  I now/see/realise and understand that is it habitual behaviour and I am changing the process of behaviour and now it is easier to see it when it comes up within and as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the energy

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be here in every moment of breath and in my mind in thoughts that then generate feelings and emotions with fear as the underlying component.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as holding on to fear like a security blanket because I see it as a hard habit to break so within this I see/reaslise and understand that I am already judging it as difficult and too hard to break the habit and within this I go into fear again of stoping the energy that has become like a drug habit. Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow fear to become a part of me and how I operate and then judge it as too difficult to release.



I commit myself to change the programming within and as me and then within that eradicate all fear and judgement of myself so that I stand as a living example to what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the mind in the moment that thoughts come up within and as the breath of life and return myself to here stable and clear.

I commit myself to break the habit that has become thinking and fear driven by my mind.

I commit myself to walk for at least 7 years of reprogramming myself and birth myself as life from the physical.