Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Day 168 - Continuation of Crying Wolf- no one Loves Me.

This is a continuation of Day 167 - More self forgiveness and commitment statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to fit in with others by going into a character of people pleaser by walking on eggshells. Because I have created a belief within and as me that I would be upset by a certain situation or if someone was to say that to me, so within that I assume others will have the same reaction when I have put myself in their shoes.  Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and stress about how I believe others will react to me if I say something, based on my own programming, when in reality I can't possibly know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become exhausted physically within and as me and experience this as being drained of all energy , because I have been extensively in the mind in characters and thoughts, feelings and emotions.

When and as I see myself as needing attention from others, because in that moment I have experienced myself as missing out or lonely or needing to feel loved or cared for by others.  I immediately stop and bring myself here within and as the breath and I slow myself right down and I look to see what it is  that is still coming up within and as me that I need another to fullfill because I  have created a belief that I am lacking within and as myself. I commit myself to write out everything that comes up as character play outs, feelings, emotions and then apply self forgiveness so that I no longer experience myself as lacking in anyway.

When and as I see myself as activating the people pleaser character in that I believe that it is my responsibility to carry anothers burdens for them or that I want to do so because within that I have created a belief within and as me that it will gain me favour and attention from another and maybe they will see me as strong and appreciate me in that moment.  I stop and I breathe and I bring myself here and I apply self forgiveness in that very moment that the character of people pleaser activates. In that I experience myself as stepping in to help when it hasn't been asked for.  I commit myself to walk and investigate every single thought, feeling and emotion that comes up within and as me so that I can delete for good the character of people pleaser.

When and as I see myself as exhausted because I have been too late and allowed myself to be possessed by the mind and I am living on energy and within that I have completely depleted the physical body.  I remind myself in this moment that I have been energy possessed and they only thing to is to breathe and to write it out and that it is not serving me to become angry and annoyed with myself for allowing myself to become mind possessed and by being hard on myself I am still feeding the energetic charge that is a personality of not good enough.  I commit myself to stop in this very moment NOW and I breath in and out for a count of 4 and I stabilise myself within and as the breath and I do not allow myself to get swept along on my tide of emotions and feelings and I stop this NOW for once and for all.

I commit myself to walk for at least 7 years of writing every day to clear out the programming that I have created myself within and as, as the characters of "people pleaser" and "not good enough, victim character" all in the name of getting attention from others.  Because I have failed to love and care for myself enough if at all.

I commit myself to embrace who I AM as the breath of life, HERE and no longer allow and accept myself to be directed within and as the mind as energy.

I commit myself to treat my human physical body with the respect that it deserves as my support in this life and I commit myself to become equal and one with the physical  and the mind, so I am able to direct myself in every moment within and as the breath of life. 

I commit myself to stand as a living example of how we has humans can/should be as life for once and for all.