Saturday, 3 November 2012

Day 129 - Mis placed trust!

A situation came up today that in a moment I saw myself as doubting someone that I know well as letting me down. I can also see that I am facing the consequence of something that came up a few days ago that I didn't face there and then and if I had a conversation with this person I could have avoided this point coming up now.






I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go off into my mind in moment of paranoia.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into mis trust of another that let me down in the past and within this I have gone into fear and anxiety of the person letting me down again.  I now/see/realise and understand that I have been in my mind in that moment in fear and anxiety of being let down again and what I am really experiencing is that I don't fully trust myself to stand as an equal and one human being, because to see this very thing in another means that it is still existent within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my faith in another in that I trust them - meaning that I am lacking in self trust because what I now/see/realise and understand is that if I fully trusted myself as life I wouldn't be experiencing fear of being let down by another, because it wouldn't even be an issue, because I have complete trust in myself and therefore trusting another as myself wouldn't be an issue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as on edge for a moment because I have created a belief within and as me that I am being let down. What I now/see/realise and understand as I turn it back to self is. That this is a direct result of me in that moment not having complete self trust within and as myself. Therefore I see that because I am not in the breath and in complete self trust within and as myself, and I haven't made sure that I am doing what is absolutely best for all within and as myself. So within this I have seen the possibility that someone could let me down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress what I really want to say because I have created a belief within and as me, that at that time it could cause an argument. What I now/see/realise and understand is that if there is an argument it is because I am not stable within and as myself and my starting point is energy based as emotion. What I also now/see/realise and understand is that this point of being lied too and mistrust is showing me the consequence of not facing a point that came up days ago that wasn't faced in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in back chat about another letting me down in the future. Because I have activated a memory where I created a belief within and as me that I have been let down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully trust myself in every moment that I will do what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go off into my mind and access a memory of when a certain person wasn't honest with me, and then within that go into fear of the same thing happening again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect fear to someone lying to me. Therefore I forgive myself for fearing my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as paranoia because I have created a belief within and as me that another is doing something that I have judged as un trustworthy. Because I don't fully trust myself in this moment.

I now/see/realise and understand that we live in a reality where no one truly trusts anyone because we don't trust ourselves. We live in a world of competition and greed and one up man ship, so within that we have taught ourselves to look to get the best deal for our money so to speak.  Everyone is fearful of everyone because we as our very core exist as fear within and as our selves. Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as fear of being let down or letting another get the better of me.  I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself until now see/realise and understand that trusting each other wouldn't be an issue if we all were equal and one with life. Hence we would do away with greed and competition and everyone would do what is best for all. I commit myself to birth myself as life from the physical through self forgiveness and correcting myself in every moment of breath and to drop the FEAR of being taken for a ride, once and for all.

When and as I see myself as fear of being let down by another because I am in the mind activating a memory of when I perceived that someone let me down in the past.  I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here and I look at what need correcting through self forgiveness. I commit myself to work on the points as they come up there and then and to not let something go unchecked so that I have to face the consequence of it in the future.

When and as I see myself as creating a belief within and as me of another letting me down/lying to me. I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here and I remind myself that no one can let me down if I don't allow it. And within this I look at the points that are coming up that is creating this mis trust in myself and others and I work on each and every point in the moment without delay.  I commit myself to bring myself into alignment with all of life so that I am able to completely trust others as myself as life.