Day 330 - Simplicity of Life

When we stop the mind as thoughts/feelings and emotions/characters and personalities - we will understand and the questions will stop - because to stand as life and be life doesn't require any knowledge and information as there will be a knowingness as we finally release the desire to know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so caught up in my mind as thoughts,feelings and emotions and lose the ability to flow with life and nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am less than life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I can be more than life as awareness - to a point that I literally get in my own way and restrict myself through creating a belief within and as me that I am aware - all along not seeing/realizing and understanding that I am in the mind as awareness and not here as breath awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become caught up in material things and allow myself as a consumer to be controlled and manipulated by shiny things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely miss the simplicity of life and within this separate myself from it so completely and lose myself within and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek outside of myself for advice/knowledge and information and not trust myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight myself in fear and judgement of not surviving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay lip service to 'equality and oneness' without fully understanding what it means in fact to be equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter into something with self interest as my motivator.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully understand what the words 'best for all' actually mean in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to be my guide and yard stick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come from a place of ego and look for others to justify my existence - by expecting a pat on the back or compliments to validate me in some way. Therefore diminishing myself as not being able to trust myself, but being able to trust others in spite of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to operate from a very limited perspective of survival and self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that because I don't act out my back chat I am not spiteful and within this create a nice little world in my own imagination.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am less than or more than another instead of simply being here in every moment of my breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself so harshly as not being good enough and less than because of childhood programming and conditioning, that I have accepted and allowed, because I had convinced myself that this must be who I am - because it is what I know, through being taught it from parents that also knew no differently.

I commit myself to walk out of the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions for as long as it takes so that I will eventually realize myself as life.

I commit myself to learn to trust myself in self honesty - through walking my journey to life and stopping the programming for once and for all.

I commit myself to assist others to incorporate the tools of self forgiveness and common sense practical application - because I am a living example.

I commit myself to be part of the new way, the way that it should have always been from the beginning, where all are equal and one.

Day 329 - Why am I Claustrophobic Now - Part 3

http://7yearjourneytolifekims.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/day-327-why-am-i-claustrophobic-now.html
http://7yearjourneytolifekims.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/day-328-why-am-i-claustrophobic-now.html

Please read the above links for further context.

On occasions I get a little claustrophobic  it's not a huge deal, but it comes up.  I manage for the most part as I am able to sort it with breathing through it, but I found myself a feeling a little trapped again, (because I have been suppressing ) at the movies a few days ago...So in the previous blogs I have applied some self forgiveness and here are the commitment statements.

Commitment Statements for feeling Claustrophobic.

I commit myself to if/when and as the feelings of being trapped or feeling claustrophobic comes up;  In that for a moment I see a situation in my imagination of being unable to move or get out if there if were an accident or incident of some sort.  Based on a fleeting thought that I had in a moment that is coming up because of a fear of being harmed or death. I stop immediately and I breathe and I slow myself right down, even if I have to take several breaths in one go to stop the anxiety that is coming up within and as me and if I am able,  and the conditions are suitable I apply self forgiveness in that moment out loud and release it and let it go. So that I can focus on what is happening in reality, and not what is in my mind as patterned fear behaviour that has been there since childhood.

When and as I experience myself as hot or I feel like I need to climb out of my skin, especially if my feet are hot and I have the need to get my shoes off as quickly as I can because they are tight and within this I experience myself as claustrophobic   I stop immediately that the first thought/ back chat that comes up and I slow myself down within and as the breath and I tell myself to relax and take my time and slowly stop the thoughts that are coming up by breathing in and out and counting to four after each breath and holding.  I commit myself to stop the patterned behaviour by applying self forgiveness for what I have accepted and allowed as feeling trapped or closed in or fearful of anything restricting me in anyway.

I commit myself to remind myself that I am panicking and that it is not who I am - but it is a programme of behaviour that I have accepted and allowed from childhood that comes from a fear of death.  And within this I see/realise and understand how important applying self forgiveness and breathing through is in stopping it for once and for all. So within this if it is still coming up I need to investigate again and forgive myself for what is still coming up within and as me.

Day 328 - Why am I Claustrophobic now? Part two

Here I look at why as I get older I have started to feel more claustrophobic and fearful of having my legs and feet trapped.

Please read the previous post for more context -http://7yearjourneytolifekims.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/day-327-why-am-i-claustrophobic-now.html


I can't remember the exact time I started to feel like this.  It has been accumulating and allowed to go unchecked for at least 20 years as I used to never think about being trapped or not able to get out of somewhere. Here I will look at my fears behind being trapped and feeling claustrophobic as I am getting older.

Fear Dimension

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too hot in a room and not able to get out  and within this go into panic and lose control of myself and embarrass myself in front of people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my boots will be stuck on my feet and within that I won't be able to get them off easily and within this cut off my circulation and my feet will fall off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate memories and fear of death by not facing it in the very beginning the first thought of fear arrived within and as me and dealing with it, so that now it has accumulated to such an extent that I am starting to feel the effects physically in my body as panic and tension.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death and the fact that I am getting nearer to death  because I am ageing and within this I have started to panic within and as me that perhaps I am running out of time to sort this out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am able to die and that within this I will experience pain and trauma of being trapped or unable to escape so I see myself as mentally preparing myself for this self created belief of fate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch TV and see things like the 'Hillsborough' incident in the UK; where so many were crushed and trampled at a football game and within this I fear that it could happen to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being trapped to fear and within this I forgive myself that I fear, fear itself.



Back Chat Dimensions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic in my mind as back chat and tell myself that I will be trapped and not able to get out, or that I will get so hot in my own skin that I won't be able to handle it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mentally prepare myself before I go anywhere as to where it is likely that I may be sat, and if it is somewhere that I have created a belief within and as me that I will panic within and as myself, I will back chat with myself about how I must prepare myself in case I am not able to get out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that my boots are too tight and that my feet may fall off if my circulation becomes restricted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax in the breath and go to sleep because I am in my mind stressing about my legs/feet being too hot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say a mantra in my head about not being able to quickly grab an aisle seat on the plane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out seats with more leg room this time when I have travelled and pay the extra so that I don't feel panicked or have to worry about it in my minds eye. So within this I see/realise and understand that I am avoiding the issue of claustrophobia, because in this moment I have allowed and accepted it as a part of me and convinced myself that it is who I am now in back chat.

To continue

Day 327 - Why am I Claustrophobic now?

I went to the cinema the other night and I was seated at the end of a row up against a wall and for a moment I felt slightly claustrophobic, I have noticed this if I am not on an aisle seat on a plane -  I imagine my legs are trapped and that if there was a fire or a problem I wouldn't get out in time.  Now, this isn't extreme because after I breathe and focus on what is happening around me and stop thinking about it by focusing on the breathing it stops.

But a memory popped up where I was sat in the car a couple of years ago with some boots on that were really tight and to get them on required a lot of effort, but in a moment I thought about my feet being trapped in the boots and I literally became hot and felt sick, I opened the window of the car and loosened the boots and relaxed myself in the breath...But for me this is so weird because as as teenager I really enjoyed pot holing and caving, I would crawl around under the ground in tubes that were barely thick enough to get a person into and I would crawl for around a mile with people in front and behind me, so there is no way if I panicked at this stage I could get out, but as I am typing this now the 'thought' of it terrifies me.  

Why is it that now as I am getting older I am becoming claustrophobic and if I allowed myself would easily go into a full on panic attack? All I can say is as I get older I become more fearful - maybe as I am edging myself more so toward death?...I don't know for sure until I really start to open this fear up and all it's many dimensions.

Memory/Thought Dimensions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting my legs trapped and not being able to escape from a difficult situation as I have created it in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start thinking about my feet being hot and not being able to keep my shoes on and have to kick them off otherwise I feel confined and claustrophobic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell on situations whereby I could have felt trapped and within this create a panic within and as me of being unable to get out and then within this I will lose control - Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that I will lose control if I am trapped or in fact I could be trapped, just based on my own imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become claustrophobic if my feet are too hot in my shoes or socks, purely and simply because I am thinking about it too much.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress memories and situations whereby I almost sent myself into a panic because I was thinking about being trapped, specifically my legs, feet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a fear of being buried alive when I was a child and grow up and with this fear not being corrected within and as me and released and thereby accumulating in the years; I now find myself becoming fearful of seemingly little things like my socks making my feet too hot and then if I don't take them off in that moment I could go into a panic and sweat and feel sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and petrification of thinking about how I used to crawl around many feet under ground in tubes less than a couple of metres in diameter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as fearful and go off in my imagination when I look at pictures of others being trapped in small spaces, in that I will imagine myself in a similar situation and within this shiver in fear and push the memories away pretending that they weren't within and as me in the first place in suppression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am going to become trapped alive and suffer and not be able to remove myself from a situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the fears and memories accumulate to the point that the consequence of that is now that I experience myself as claustrophobic.

To be continued